Since your young adult, teen kid or grandchild is so often buried in a smartphone, social media might seem like the best way to check in, but be careful: You’ll find unwritten rules and guardrails.
“In the social media age, the worst thing is when your parents and grandparents show up,” says Karen North, clinical professor of communication at the University of Southern California. “You don’t want to be part of a kid’s core group of friends on social. That’s where they do their silly, embarrassing stuff.”
Don’t use platforms such as SnapChat and TikTok where the silly friend stuff thrives.
Use social media tools that let you — and them — say a quick hello but don’t demand a lot in return. Ask the kids to hook you up with tools like BeReal or Locket, where they can create groups just for family. At a regular interval daily or weekly, grandkids and grandparents can send a picture or short video to one another.
“It maintains the consistency of the relationship,” North says. “You want to make it fun to have a relationship with other generations.”
Instagram is another good tool, she says. Kids can filter which posts their grandparents can see, and the private messaging function lets you send notes and videos of interest back and forth.
Beware: Photo posts can invade privacy in surprising ways
When you post photos, take note of the details. A pleasing snapshot of smiling people might appear innocuous, but sometimes the background can reveal too much. Avoid showing:
• Your address
• Your grandchild’s school name
• Any material, however subtle, that might be personal or private
Bonus tip: Ask your adult children if it’s OK to post any photos of your grandchildren. They may not want the grandkids’ faces on the internet.
And if a photo isn’t something you would want your boss or family to see — even if you think it’s hilarious — don’t post it. Nothing is ever truly gone on the internet, and it could come back to haunt you or your family.
Worried about fees for texts? A free, secure app is availableSome 2 trillion texts are sent each year in the U.S., and young people are especially active texters.
For more information on what social media is best for connecting with family, from AARP, CLICK HERE.
